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The end of a marriage can be a very difficult time for any Californian. The life you thought you were beginning when you tied the knot did not work out, for whatever reason or reasons, and now you need to start over with a new life. Often, the soon-to-be ex-spouses have anger and resentment toward each other because of things that went wrong in the marriage. The arguments that come up as part of negotiating a divorce settlement can add to these negative feelings. However, it is usually a good idea to keep things civil in divorce negotiations. In many situations, you may have to continue to deal with your ex-spouse in some capacity long after the divorce is finalized. Lingering anger and resentment can make that a lot more difficult.
Civility is especially important in divorces involving children. If there are children involved from the marriage, there will inevitably be a continuing relationship between you and your ex-spouse, as you deal with child support and child custody matters.
Spousal support is another area that can require communication and cooperation after the divorce. Spousal support, also known as alimony, isn't required in every divorce, but it can be a crucial source of income for many ex-spouses. For ex-spouses who are paying alimony, it can also be a source of frustration or a financial burden. There may be times when the parties have to agree to a modification of the terms of their spousal support agreement. It will be harder to reach any kind of modification agreement if they are still angry at each other over things that they said during the divorce.
When hiring a lawyer to represent you during a divorce, it's a good idea to discuss how you are going to keep things civil. A good lawyer will fight for your best interests in property division, child custody and all other matters in a divorce, but will know how to keep the levels of tension and anger under control.
Source: The Huffington Post, "A Divorce Inventory List," Debbie Martinez, Oct. 20, 2015
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